


It Is It Everyone Dies Alone

by TheLittleBlackPrince



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Adrian is so done, Adrien...needs so many things!, Chloé Bourgeois loves Adrien as a friend, F/M, Gabriel is a monster, Looking for a Beta, Marinette Dupain-Cheng is not the guardian, Plagg needs a hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-30
Updated: 2020-07-30
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:08:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25614088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheLittleBlackPrince/pseuds/TheLittleBlackPrince
Summary: nobody could stop him if he decide to do it now. well maybeshecould.Ifshe made it in time. (she wouldn't)
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug
Comments: 4
Kudos: 35





	1. If they could ask him

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings. well more warnings if you already saw the tags. there are some... bed things happening here. DO NOT READ if you have some...history or things like that.  
> just saying. better safe than sorry right?

If they could ask him…

Why did you do it?

He’d say…

_I was just so tired._

How did it happen?

_I just looked down and thought what if…_

How did it feel?

_Good. like freedom._

Did you regret it?

 _No_.

What was the last thing in your mind?

  
_…If she knew, would she come?_

**_If_ **they could ask him…


	2. Finally Free

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a song suggestion for this chapter. the _to die for_ by _Sam smith_  
>  listen if you want. it feats in my head.  
> the name of the story is also from the said song.

“It’s beautiful”

“Sure” plagg said absentmindedly. So focus on finishing his camembert

“Do you think of anything but cheese?”

“Does anything deserves my attention but cheese?” he looked so damn serious. (He always did when it was about cheese…Or him)

Adrien just laughed. And drag his attention back to the view in front of him. This was why the top of the Eifel tower was their favorite meeting place. The beautiful view of the city. Something only they could see. Something special, just for _them_. (And well maybe the fact that nobody could bother them up there.)

That’s why when he decided that there was no way he is able to sleep tonight, he thoughtto come here. (Just to spend some time, not to-)

He leaned back on his hands, swinging his feet that was dangling from the edge. And just, thought.

_Today sucked._

First he overslept, which caused him getting a lecture from _his father_ of all people. Just his _fucking luck_ that he decided today to be around. (Thanks Plagg.)

He was late to the school _Obviously_ and end up bombing both of that day’s exams due to the lack of sleep _Thanks dad, thanks Howkmoth_ and so much stress.

Then he was pulled out of school and away from his friends _The only good things in his life_ for a boring and annoying photo-shoot.

And then he had piano and Chinese and fencing lessons. He didn’t even see Kagami _her mother needed her for… something, apparently. _so there went his only hope of a good day.

And then he got home to get _more_ lectures from Nathalie. About what? He didn’t even know. _Also didn’t care anymore_

And then they told him about the trip to Millan, which meant more trouble.

So in the end he went to bed all tired and so done, just to get insomnia. His mind didn’t just _shut up_. So he thought about everything. His fucked up life and family. The way he was so alone _ he didn’t have that much of a connection with his friend because his father was an asshole _ and all he had was Plagg, and ladybug…

Thinking about her just opened a new chest of problems. How Fu so obviously favored her. How the whole city sees her as the hero and him as the useless sidekick. His unrequested love for her. Their last fight over him sacrificing his life for her, _Again_ _He just didn’t feel that important… and whose fault was that?_ the way he was being kept in dark _ sometimes it felt like he was the _only one_ who didn’t know _anything_ _ their so-called _partnership_ _ seriously he didn’t know anything and the matter of Fu and the way _she acted…_ _

He kept thinking _ torturing himself _ until Plagg noticed something is wrong and suggested to go for a run.

And now here he was. On top of the Eifel tower… _thinking_.

_Again._

It’s just… his mind DIDN'T SHUT UP. And well, maybe that was for the _best_.

\----------

_“Hey Plagg?”_

_“Yes kid?”_

_“You know I was just thinking… what will happen… if I jump-”_

_“KID!”_

_“I’m just saying-”_

_“Then don’t!”_

_“Come on. What’s the worst scenario?”_

_“Well I don’t know,_ I will have fucking heart attack? _Nino will die of sadness, Alya cries her heart out, Chloe burns the city. Marinette would have a heart attack too. Tikki-“_

_Adrian laughed._

_“Now you’re being dramatic-”_

_Plagg ignored him and continued” people all cry-”_

_” really-? ”_

_”Gabriel will- ”_

_“Do you thing he cry?”_

_Plagg fell silent. Because_ honestly _-_

 _“Do you thing he_ feels _anything?”_

 _-he didn’t_ know _._

 _“Do you think he even_ cares _?”_

 _And he_ hated _that._

_A few seconds of silence passed._

_“What about her?”_

_They both know who he meant._

_“Do you thing_ she _cares?”_

_“Of course she dose! You’re her friend and partner and-”_

_“But am I really?”_

_Plagg stared at his face. He seemed so unsure…and it_ hurt _._

 _“_ Of course you are _” none of her kittens deserved to feel like that. Unwanted, unloved, alone._

 _Adrien kept staring at him with hesitance. Plagg heart burned for his poor kitten. He was his best Chat noir and look at his life. The kid was a fucking hero. Literally_ and _metaphorically._

_Adrien dropped the topic. Plagg obviously didn’t want to continue and he understood why. Maybe he was scared that it wasn’t just a think…_

_Maybe he was_ right _._

_He looked down. The tower was tall. So tall that he didn’t see anything at the end of it but darkness. Adrien smiled, bitterly because wasn’t it ironic? All this time tired of being alone and in the dark only to…_

_But that was the point._ Tired _. He was just so tired of…_ everything _._

 _He thought about it again. And again. And again. And honestly? The more he thought about it, it sounded_ better _._

 _Nobody could stop him if he decide to do it now. Well maybe_ she _could._ If _she made it in time. (She wouldn't.)_

_“I love you Plagg.”_

_“I love you too kid.”_

_Adrien stood up and looked at Plagg. And then his ring. And then start to take it off. Plagg screamed with horror._

_“Kid what are you-”_

_Adrien smiled sadly at him._

_“And I’m sorry.”_

_The ring hit the tower’s floor…_

_\----------_

“ **NO CHAT!”**

Marinette screamed and jumped off sleep. Tikki also woke up and call out for her.

“What? What happened?”

“ **He** **jumped**!”

“ _Who?_ ”

“ **CHAT!** ” Marinette said again, loudly like it was obvious. Like it was…

“Oh Marinette. IT was all just a nightmare.” Tikki said with tenderness in her voice

Marinette froze. Just a… but he… Chat…

_He jumped of top of the Eifel tower._

_He killed himself._

_He…_

“Wanna talk about it?”

No.

“I…it was…OH MY GOD.” Marinette groaned loudly and put her head in her palms. Her eyes start to water and she felt like crying. It was horrible. Why on earth…

She had nightmares. Like, a lot_ being a hero had its prices_ but none of them were like _this_!

Her dreams were mostly about chat yes. Like him getting shot, stabbed, erase of existence, _just getting hurt_. _Bad_. Like _really_ bad. And then dying in her arms while miraculous cure failed and she couldn’t do anything.

But he always get _killed,_ not… not _killing himself_.

“I shouldn’t fight him.”

She murmured. She really shouldn’t. But she was so _pissed_. The stupid cat didn’t stop and when she told him he acted like _she_ was the silly one! He just kept getting himself killed and she just didn’t understand _why_. Like her _nightmares_ didn’t hurt enough. She also had to watch her poor kitty dying over and over again because Howkmoth was a…

“Marinette you ok there?”

Marinette lift her head up and stared at Tikki.

“Oh my god. Don’t cry. It was all a bad nightmare. It’s ok now.”

But _was it?_

Her gut was screaming at her. That something was wrong. That something was happening. That she should do _something_. She just didn’t know _what._

She didn’t answer Tikki and looked down at her trap door. Her parents didn’t hear her screaming. She looked up at her balcony door maybe she should just…

“Tikki spots on!”

She transformed and burst out of her room as fast as possible. She would apologize to Tikki later but for now…

He didn’t answer his devise.

“Maybe he's not transformed. “Ladybug tried to comfort herself.

_Right. Like it’s not Chat we’re talking about._

The freaking cat was always transformed. Especially at night. Why? She didn’t know. How nobody noticed? She didn’t know. How he had time for it? She didn’t…

_What do you **know?**_

She stares at the rooftop in front of her balcony.

Seriously, what do I know?

She felt anxious. And that was a bad sign. She tried to call him again and also start to move. Towards where? She didn’t know.

When he didn’t answer for the third time she starts to call for him.

“CHAT!?”

_This is stupid…_

“CHAT NOIR!?”

_You’re not even sure his out…_

“CHATON!?”

_You should just…_

**Shut up.**

She hissed in her head. Shutting the voices down

**I don’t care OK? I just need to find him. To make sure that his OK.**

She stop if she didn’t find him in the morning. Maybe she should start with his favorite place…

And then it her.

Like a fucking slap to the _face_.

_The Eifel tower._

“I’m **so fucking stupid**!”

She runs towards the tower. Her heart was biting so fast. Her gut twitched and her eyes start to burn. She was crying. Why was she crying? She whispered to the wind.

“No.”

She speeds up. She should go there from the start.

“Please.”

She was so stupid. The whole fucking nightmare was about the tower.

“God please. Please _no_ ”

Let him be ok. Let him be ok. Let him…

 _“_ **Please let him be _ok_** _”_ Ladybug screamed out.

The moment her feet hit the tower's floor, she screamed his name out.

“ **Chaton!** ”

No one answered back. She starts to search around the tower like a mad bug.

“ **Chat!** **Chat noir! Chat I swear to god…** ”

 **Ting**.

Her feet hit something. Something met… her heart sank. She looked down in horror.

Chat’s ring stared back.

Ladybug picks the ring up with lightning speed. The moment it sat down on the palm of her hand Plagg appeared in a burst of green light, screaming.

“Adrien no!”

They both froze. Marinette's eyes were as wide as possible, heart biting fast, seeing black spots due to the light and ears ringing from the scream.

Plagg’s face starts to change. From fear to shock to confusion to… utter horror.

He then darts away with thunder speed in a blur of black.

Towards… _down_.

Marinette heart skipped a few bits.

She hooked her yoyo to the nearest chimney and dived down behind Plagg. Swinging as fast as possible, wishing all the while that they were wrong. that chat…

_He what?_

“Please be a nightmare. Let him be safe. Please. _Chaton_ plea-“

Ladybug’s feet hit the ground and then she heard…a cat’s yowling.

 _No_.

it was _Plagg_.

He was _crying_.

“Oh no. Kid. Oh my god. This is all my fault. Kid...”

Marinette’s heart stop. There on the floor, under the dim lights of the Eifel tower, was a black figure. Like someone was sleeping there.

_Like someone…_

Ladybug tried to step closer but tripped.

_For god’s sake Marinette. it’s not the time to be a cluts._

**Splash**.

Her foot hit a pool of… water.

_Not water…_

Ladybug fell on her hands and knees. She looked at her hands. Her suit was wet and smelled like metal and… red. It was just _so red._

She drags herself closer. Touched the blonde head on the floor with shaking hands.

This is not how I wanted to know.

 _Chat looked at her with his big_ _innocent_ _green_ _eyes “Is it really that bad if we know?”_

**This is not how I wanted to know.**

She turned the face slowly and shakily to left. Blonde her, face half-covered by blood, close eyes…

Her transformation fell on a burst of red light…

And her world explode with it.

“No”

Marinette denied.

“Oh my god.”

Marinette ignored Tikki's horrified whisper. And shook her head.

“No. it can’t be.”

Plagg yowled louder. Tikki starts to cry. Marinette's whole body shook harder.

“No. No. I can’t lose them both.”

_But you did…_

Marinette screamed on the top of her longs.

“ **ADIAN!** ”

She screamed louder…

“ **ADRIEN! CHAT! NO CHATON! AHHHHH** ”

Cried Harder…

“ **CHAHHHH** …”

She swings herself back and forth, him being in her arms all the while.

“ADRIEN PLEASE.”

_“Why don’t you just tell him girl”  
“I can’t just do _that _it’s_ Adrien _.”_

“Please. No. I didn’t tell you how much I love you…”

_“Hey bugaboo you know how much I love you right?”  
“Oh chat…”_

“I didn’t tell you that I love you back.”

_“Jesse what are you so angry about anyway? It’s not the first time.”  
“WHAT IF IT WAS YORE LAST?”_

“I didn’t apologies for screaming at you.”

_“Will it be that bad to know?”_

Marinette cried harder. ”I just wanted to protect you. I just…” she broke down “I’m so sorry. If I knew I could _stop_ this. If I was _faster_. If I _knew_. If you just told…”

_Told who?_

she froze.

It was all her fault. She and her stupid _rules_.

_“I’m just tired of being left in the dark”_

If she just _listened_ …

_“I’m_ fine _my lady.”_

If she paid more _attention_ …

_“Do you even **see me?** ”_

If she _just_ …

She burst into tears and screams again.

“CHAT! Oh! I’m so sorry. This is all my faaaahhhh… Adriaaaaah… I’m so sorryyyyyy….uhhhhh….”

She cried her heart out, swinging back and forth. Apologizing over and over but…

“I love you… I’m so sorry _Chaton_ … I never told you that and _now …”_

_It’s just too late…_

\-------

_“Hey my lady?”_

_“Yes Chaton?”_

_“Would you do me a favor?”_

_“What?”_

_“Never forget how much I love you. OK?”_

_“Oh chat…”_

_“Please”_

_“Fine. I won’t.”_

_“Promise?”_

_“Promise.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone asked me why did you do this? I'd say I hate sad endings but if I'm going to write any with death in it, Adrien would die because then he'll be free"Cough" and Marinette will be left to suffer like she deserves "Cough"  
> oh and if you didn't exactly realize I'm not a big fan of canon Marinette"Cough" hate her"Cough" it's just my idea so.  
> aaaand if there were so many fans for this work I might add one more chapter.  
> tell me how was it. ok? love ya. _never forget it._


End file.
